Yesterday mornin were a great day acause Miss Debby come to see me! She mah teacher, and she teachin me not to get scared of the mean puggle next door, and not to eat gloo-tin acause it makes me itch, and speshully not to hoard mah speshul things.
Sometime, I get things I love so much that I worries and worries about not havin them anymore, so I acts bad with them. This a bone I had once, and I loved it very much, so I couldn’t chews it. I just carries it in mah mouth and cries a lot. Miss Debby helpin me learn not to do this, acause this are bad. It make me very ank-shus and it make me be a mean girl if mah parents tries to put mah speshul items away.
But before Miss Debby come over, Mommy and I has to go to the pet store to get me some Bully Sticks! I do a ree-sorce gard on a Bully Stick before, so this apposed to be a good speshul item for me to prak-tiss. I so excited to go the pet store! What won-der-ful things I gonna see there?!?
Then Mommy say I gotta get mah toes done. And this make me nervous. I doesn’t like the clippy things near mah toes! Mah toes look just fine!
So we goes to the pet store. And there, I am verruh verruh bad. It are a man who do mah toes, and I so scared of him that I makes pee all over. Then I puts mah tail in the pee! And I wiggles in the pee and I gets it all over! And then I cries and cries and cries! And then a big dog come to the door when I are done with mah toes, and I cries more and scrabbles at the door to GET ME OUT! That big dog were lookin at me!!!!!
But then we go into the pet store part, and not the toe-trimmy part, and I are so good. There so many things there that I wants! Mah Mommy gets me Bully Sticks, and she get me this nice Steeler toy so I all ready for Sunday!
And I do several po-lite greetings like I learned at pitbull school, and people scritches behind mah ears and say, “What a good girl you are!” and everything going so good until I smells a cookie on the counter, and I puts mah toes up on it and make a lot of fussing and droolies.
And I wears mahself out and sleeps and forget mah duty as co-pilot of the car. Mommy say she forgive me for mah bad behaviors.
And now that I does not smell of pee anymore, I say this, mah toes sure do look nice.