GuiltyHi mah friends. Today, Lucy gonna tells you a story bout a bad I does. A bad I does that were so the worth it.

BeaujolaisYes-ter-day were the Bo-Joo-Lay Noo-Vo festy-val. That are hard to spell, real hard, so I calls it wut Mommy Daddy call it, which are ‘Ham Wine Night.’

IngredientsMommy need mah help all day for this, so first, we gather in-gre-d-ents for our ham. Mommy make a ham soss that have apple ci-der and a bor-bon.

SamplerI inspek ci-der for kwal-tee. I not allow inspek bor-bon acause I not old enuff yet. This ci-der pretty good!

HamMommy go the store and buy a big hams. Then I sit with the hams, check up on it, make sure it not a lon-lee ham while Mommy busy makin the soss.


Then we gotta put the hams in a Crok-Pot. I puts it in, but Mommy gotta be the one make it all hot so I doesn’t burn mah toes.

CrockPotThen Mommy pour in the soss, and she press the button make the Crok-Pot warm. This when it start to be trouble. This when I start to think bout doin mah bad.

SpishusI tells you this mah friends: ham smell DELISHUS. Ham smell like I wanna put mah nose on it for evers. So all day, for 6 the hours, I gotta be real good and not go nex to the hams.

Ham TimeThen at last, it are hams time!! Mommy say, ‘look the hams you have made, Lucy! Look what a good girl you are, make this hams!’

And then I does it. I does the bad:

Ham Theef I theefs the hams. I theefs the biggest slice the hams on the plate!

Floor HamIt so delishus, I cannot even think bouts anything else. I puts the hams on the floor, eats all the pieces in one minute. Then I snuffles up the floor to get the hams joose too! YUM I DOESN’T CARE HOW BAD IT ARE WORTH IT!

HampologyMommy Daddy say, “NO LUCY THAT NOT FOR YOU, THAT PIECE TOO BIG FOR LITTLE YOU” but I cans not lissen. I jus wants the hams. I wants the hams until all hams are gone. And then I act sorry.

CutieI act like I feel so bad, like I knows wut a bad I does. Like I so sorry, and I pose for the pickshure Mommy want with the wine bottle I not allowed to drink anyway cause I too little.

Not sorryBut mah friends, I mus tell you. I not sorry. I not sorry one bit. This hams were most delishus hams of all time.

Ham HangoverSometimes, mah friends, you does a bad acause it worth it. I learns this to-day. I learns that hams always worth it. I cants wait for next year Ham Wine Night. Gonna get two piece the hams. Sometimes, you does a bad acause it worth it. Hams worth it for sure.