Tomatt Dis-as-tur

guiltyWell mah friends. What had happen were this.

fried green tomatoesMommy make a big plate of fry green tomatt for the dinner. They jus so delishus smell. Obvusly I helps her in the kitchen, like I does all the time, so I knows jus wut delishus things in those tomatts.

beggingBut when it tiem to eat, Mommy give me one bitty tomatt and be like, ‘No Lucy, you has your dinners already, you can’ts have all the fry green tomatt.’ But you sees, I wants them SOOOOO bad.

watchingVerruh care-flee I watch the tomatts. I watch to see they falls on the floor and I can snatch them up. None them falls on the floor. I gets none at all.

stompyAfter the dinner, Daddy go the store to get me and Mommy a do-nut dee-zert. And all the whiles he gone, I pretend to be so good. I stomps po-lite-ly upon this plate to show Mommy how good I bein, how much I deserve do-nut when it arrive.

guiltyBut when Mommy look away for 2 the minutes, I does it. I does a bad.

happy I shouts TOWANDER and I runs down the stairs verruh fast and verruh sneeky-like and I jus does it. I eats all the fry green tomatt. All them. Then verruh sneeky-like I sneeks back upstairs to Mommy and she never know I eats it all.

fat bellyObvusly this not mah finest moment. It taste so good, but gess wut? Of course Daddy find out soon as he come home and see empty plate on table. And then of COURSE Daddy tell Mommy! And of COURSE I jus in so much trouble and with the sick tummy too!

sadMah friends. I gonna tell you this: fry green tomatt jus so good, but you mus not eat them all. You mus jus have the one that Mommy give you and no more. Do not be like the Lucy. Do not does a bad. Or you will make many poos and feel sick all the night. You will has tomatt dis-as-tur jus like I do. I jus tellin you so you learns mah friends. I jus tellin you so you learns.

Birfday Caek

CaekFriends! Does you wanna hears bout mah birfday caek? I tells you!

Fat FaceMommy make me wait verruh long to get mah caek. Says I gotta bee-haves. As you can sees, to make Mommy feel bad for doin this to the Lucy, I pouts out mah bottom lip so I look so verruh sad.

Lucy's CakeAs you can sees, this are best caek ever. You can sees why I will wants it so badly. It are pink, and it have a skweek cupncaek on it. It are made jus for me by the Doggy Dee-lite* lady who are so good at makin caek! You can sees why I wants it all in mah tummy right nows.

Caek TiemBut at last I bee-have enough and it are caek tiem! I so happy!

Wait ForeverBut Mommy say I gotta sit nicely by mah caek for a pickshure, and it are like a million minutes of sit by the caek and not eat the caek. Omg Mommy. Jus let me noms it!

Caek TiemA TASTE! A TASTE MAH CAEK!!!! YUM YUM YUM YUM

DelishusOH SO DELISHUS OH I LOVE IT SO I GONNA NOM THE WHOLE THING IN ONE BIG PIECE I LOVE THIS CAEK I LOVE MOMMY FOR MAKE THE LADY MAKE THE CAEK FOR ME OH MAH JEEZ I LOVE IT.Nom NomBut I mus be lady-like and I mus eat mah caek from a fork like a grownd up, because now I am four, and four is grownd up. So I mus be good.

CupnCaekBut Mommy still let me lick the icey off mah skweeky cupncaek! I tries to be lady-like and grownd up as best I cans.

Mommy think I so cute and lady-like havin my icey that she make a video of me wait pay-shent-ly for mah skweek cupncaek. I don’t know bouts you, but I think this a pretty best birfday! Bein a grownd up is so fun!

*Lucy’s Mommy would like to point out that the correct spelling of Lucy’s cake designer is Doggie Delights. Check them out – they are local to the Pittsburgh area, and their cakes are delicious and healthy for your pup!

Happy Birfday Mer-ca

happyHullo Mer-ca? You there? Gess wut? Gess wut today are?

birthdayIt are our birfday!!! Today we both be born many year ago. But you, Mer-ca, you born loooooooong time ago. You so old. The Lucy not so old. The Lucy born 4 year ago! That make me a grownd-up!

happyDid you know that birfday are the best? It a speshul day all your own! Well, all your own, unless you like me and you shares it with Mer-ca. I doesn’t mind, share mah birfday with Mer-ca. It a nice place that let me live in it, so we buds.

seriousAnd you know most im-por-tant part of birfday? Lissen me, acause this very, very sireus.

cakeCaek! You get caek on your birfday!!!

hatThere a caek jus for me in mah frig-y-ray-tor. I gonna tells you all bout it, Mer-ca, then you tells me all about your caek. I bet you eated like a million caeks cause you so old!! This mah first caek, acause I jus barely a grownd up, but I tell you how it are.

stuckWell, after I gets unstuck out mah hat, I will. Happy birfday Mer-ca! Hope your day as best as mine!!

Somethin Spishus

Oh NoesMommy! Mommy come qwik! Somethin spishus goin on! I swears, there somethin follow me around all day! I so ascared!

SlurpyMommy this SIREUS BISNIS. Dontchu laff at me, I means it, there somethin spishus follow Lucy all around. And it jus won’t stop!

CutieI take a step, the spishus thing take a step. And it make a sound on the carpet, but when I stops to look for it, it stops makin the sound, so never will I catch it!

WutWut? Wut is this? No you can’t be sireus!

Stuck BoneOh no. Oh you says I jus gets mah chewbone stuck in mah leash? Oh dear. Oh this terruhbull.

EmbarrassedI so barrassed, I can never shows mah nose round here again. You please take the bone out mah leash Mommy? And we don’t tells any-one bout this, k?Hiding Mah NoseThis so gonna end up on mah storyblog, aren’t it Mommy? And all mah friends gonna know? Oh mah life are such a suck right now.

Speshul Dee-Liv-Ree

BarkBoxMah friends! Somethin speshul come in the mail today! It come speshul dee-liv-ree!

For LucyAnd look, it got mah name on it! It say ‘To: Lucy’. That me!!

BarkBoxI know wut it is! It are mah BarkBox! I gets one of these last month, and so now I knows jus wut it are! Does you know wut a BarkBox are?

BarkBoxIt are speshul dee-liv-ree that come to the house of the good dogs one time in a month. And in the box, so many things for me! And all because I the best girl of ever.

opening boxMommy and I open the box together. This mah second BarkBox, so I knows that I are aposed to snuffle mah nose inside to inspek what I gots.

InspekI look an inspek each item verruh care-ful-ee. Gotta sees what I get this month for bein so good!

Inside BoxLook that! All those things for me!

Greenie I gets tasty treat every month from the BarkBox. This time, I get a small minty bone greenie. I sniffs it – it smell like the plant I eat in the yard! It so delishus, I eat this, and I eat a bar-bee-Q nibbler and I love them all!

EggplantBut mah fav-o-rite toy in the BarkBox this month are mah eggyplant!!!! Do you knows wut a eggyplant are? It a veggy-tubble! But this one not like a veggy-tubble at all, this eggyplant are BOUNCY.

SnuffleThis eggyplant are the best! It got a large hole in the top, and I think Mommy gonna put a pea-nut butter in there!

EggplantAnd mah eggyplant so bouncy, I gotta hold it down real tight so I can snuffles inside and look for goodies!

LookingHmmm, no treats in here tonight. Jus bouncy eggyplant! You sees mah bloo rope? That from last month BarkBox! All these toys mah fav-o-rite!

HappyI likes when we do jelly time, but mah friends, I tells you this: BarkBox time the best time the month of all! I hope all mah friends are good dog too and get the BarkBox to their house!

SleepyBut right now, I so sleepy from all mah BarkBox time that I gonna jus snuggle up mah eggyplant and takes a nap. Night night mah friends!

Fame-Us Fat Piper

TiredGess wut friends? Mah cousin, Fat Piper? It turn out that she fame-us.

Old Dog WisdomLook that bratty face. Look how she hammin on the cam-ra for noms. She so fame-us she go on the Our Waldo Bun-gie blog and get lots of fans.

And gess wut I doin?

MadI in somethin called a ‘boo camp’ learnin how to lissen Mommy and Daddy when they says ‘Good Lucy’ and not jus when they give me treats. This so I stop thinkin food the mos im-por-tant. And so I doesn’t guard it. Oh mah dog. Does you know how much this are a suck?

SadSo Fat Piper get new friends. She get all the noms and all the nibblins. And all I get the scritch on mah neck and snuggles with mah Mommy and happy words. And Mommy say how I the smartest girl that ever live.

Love My MommySo, you know, gess wut? I gess it not so bad, if I get all the snuggles and pets from mah Mommy. Snuggle from mah Mommy the best thing ever. Even if I still a little jell-us bout fame-us Fat Piper.

Happy Mommy Day

Hullo friends, you know the yes-ter-day was? It were Mommy Day!

Lucy and MommyThat a day you celly-brate how much you love your Mommy!

Lucy and GrandmaI also celly-brate how much I love mah Grandma! Grandma give me all the pets and treats and she make me straw-berry and chicken bits. I love mah Grandma!

Lucy and MommyBut mah bestest friend in all the world, that are mah Mommy. She take the care of me, she save me from mah scary dream, she snuggle me, she take me on run up and down the road, she take me to beach, she sing song to me, and she love me all the time, even when I do a little bad. I love you too Mommy! You mah bestest friend!

Sink-O Dey Mah-O

Naughty EarHi mah friends! Do you hear wut day it is? It are Sink-O Dey Mah-O!

Corona Beach BallThis a speshul day that are confusing in mah mind. But I know it are to do with the Mexy-co.  It like, the Mexy-co beat on the France, in a battle in a Pweb-Lo which are like, a Mexy-co word for ‘outside house made of the mud’. But that confuse me, and Mommy say no, it not a Pweb-Lo it a Pweb-La which I think are jus a city and not a mud house at all. So instead make the sense of his-try, I jus celly-brate Mexy-co! Would you like to know what I does best on Sink-O Dey Mah-O? I eats a car-neet-us!

SrsI doesn’t always has a pork on Sink-O Dey Mah-O, but when I does, I calls it car-neet-us.

MargaritaThen I make a mar-ga-reeta! This so delishus. I hear Mommy like the mar-ga-reeta too, but I can’ts has the kind she has, acause it has Mommy’s Medicine in it. (I not allowed to have that kind of medicine.)

Cinco De MayoAfter mah car-neet-us and mah mar-ga-reeta, I jus chillax. Chillax like when I chill out and I re-lax at the same time. It like when I jus so cool and laid back and not ank-shus at all.

stuckAsept then I get stuck the cur-tin!

lost noseThen I jus lose mah whole nose!

Cinco De MayoThen this happen!

SpoiledSo maybe I has too many the mar-ga-reetas after all. Maybe I has too much Sink-O Dey Mah-O. Next year, maybe I jus gonna have double car-neet-us and none the mar-ga-reetas I think. How you celly-brate the Sink-O Dey Mah-O this year mah friends?

I Garden

Hi mah friends! I sorry I goes away for so a long time!

YawnYou see, wut happens is, Mommy and Daddy go the Cally-forn-ya, and I can’ts go with, so I goes the K9 Kingdom. And then when I comes home from there, I so sleepy that I just sleeps for days and days.

Sunshine PupBut today I all better, so I goes outside to help Mommy in the garden! I gonna tells you bout what you do to make your garden.

InspectingFirst thing, you gotta in-spek the garden. I look round all the garden, sees wut I gotta do.

GardeningAs you can sees, I gots a lot of work ahead me. This garden a mess!

RelaxingI takes break afore I even start! Mommy start do some weeding while I re-lax. Then she say, “Lucy, we gotta make urbs. We gotta make the urb plants so we can make the things in our dinner!”

HerbsI inspek the urbs. We got 2 urb so far. We got a rose-mary and we got a bay-zil. These urbs, I think they good urbs. I think they goes in mah fish dinner when Mommy cook it for me.

NommingMmm yes, this def-nit-lee wut Mommy put in mah fish dinner! Mmm this so delishus! I can’t wait this gonna grow so big and I gonna eat it all!

SatisfiedMommy make me stop nommin on the urbs and we put them in the ground. You sees them? You sees mah little urbs? They jus little now, but they gonna be big soon! I feel so satty-fied with mah hard work, I jus takes a moment to takes it alllll in.

RelaxingI knows we got lots of work to do in our garden, but I think we make a good start today! What urbs you plantin, mah friends? Wut you gonna cook me for dinners from your garden?