Dear Diary, today are a suck. Gess who come to mah house?
Bad Loo-cee. That who. She haet me. She haet me and they says she gonna be here all the week.
Everythin so terruhbul right now. It jus terruhbul.
Mommy and Daddy say, “Hey Piper, gess what? Gess who come visit? It your sister! She come for many days and visit!” I like, “Oh that the best thing ever! I love her!”
Then I hear the bad news. Then I hear that Bad Loo-cee come with.
Wut? Wut, are you sireus parents? Are you sireus I gotta shares mah house with Bad Loo-cee for all the many days??
I’m like, rilly? Rilly, this terruhbul idea. This worst idea ever. We all gonna be mis-er-bul forevers.
The first day, Bad Loo-cee standin in a small corner. I so old, mah eyes don’t work, and I runs ank-shus-lee to avoid the Loo-cee, but gess wut? I runs right into her. And she go ‘RAWWWWWWR FAT PIPER YOU RUN YOUR FAT INTO MAH FACE’
And I’m like, “Rilly Bad Loo-cee? Has you seen your head lately? It big as a canter-lope! It not mah fault you got the biggest melon in all the land! How you aspekt me fit mah hips through the small corner with a big melon like that takin up all that room!”
So, that jus how it gonna go all the week. Bad Loo-cee come up and try to sniff on mah bum. How rude, I thinks. That the rudest ever. I never sniff on the bum of anyone. Anyone. I jus gotta wait it out, all Bad Loo-cee’s be-have-your. Wait until the week over.
Then I gonna make this face and I gonna do a big dance. And it gonna be so good.